Pittsburgh Penguins Superlatives!
Nice hair, Sid
The season has ended, so it’s time to pick the Penguins superlatives!
Note: These don’t necessarily reflect the season. I was just bored and picked ones I thought suited certain Penguins.
Without further ado, here are you 2011/2012 Pittsburgh Penguins Most Likely To’s!
Most Like to become a weatherman: Tyler Kennedy
If you haven’t seen this video, then this choice will be confusing. So watch it and tell me that Tyler Kennedy wouldn’t make an adorable weatherman!
Most Likely to become a UN delegate and find a solution for World Peace: Craig Adams 
Adams, as everyone knows, went to Harvard and studied history. He was born in Brunei and raised in Canada. His father in law is a former ambassador for the US to Canada. If there’s anyone who could work the UN, it’s him.
Most Likely to start a conga line at your wedding (and have it lead to the bar): Evgeni Malkin
Russians know how to party, and I’m sure Geno is no exception. He seems like a lot of fun, and would definitely be the guy starting a conga line that ended in vodka shots.
Most Likely to take you shopping and give you a makeover: Kris Letang
The rest of the team has always said that Kris is probably the one guy on the team most obsessed with his clothes, and takes the most time in getting ready. He’d be the guy to take you shopping and help you pick out new clothes.
Most Likely to start a beer pong league: Jordan Staal
Growing up on a farm in Thunder Bay with 3 brothers, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be a master at beer pong. So why not take that skill and do something with it?
Most Likely to give you tips on styling your hair: James Neal 
As seen in his episode of NHL 36, James Neal really likes his hair. I’m pretty sure if you were to ask him what style would look good on you, he’d have some answers and advice.
Most Likely to pants you in public: Pascal Dupuis
Dupers is a big kid at heart, and is apparently quite the prankster on the team. He’d definitely be the one to embarrass you by pulling your pants down in a public setting.
Most Likely to start a food fight: Marc-Andre Fleury 
Fleury is another prankster on the team, and you can count on him to lighten the mood. He would definitely be the guy to scream “FOOD FIGHT” in the middle of the buffet.
Most Likely to start his own band: Brent Johnson
Johnson is known for having the best taste in music in the locker room. It really wouldn’t surprise anyone to see him rocking out with some band on a stage.
Most Likely to defend you from the bullies: Brooks Orpik 
What more proof do you need other than Brooks’ ‘You Can Play’ ad? Tell me that those staring at you, telling you to leave the guy alone wouldn’t scare the crap out of you.
Most Likely to backpack across Europe: Zbynek Michalek
There’s something about Michalek that makes him the guy you would want to tour museums and art galleries with.
Most Likely to be found playing tag with your kids: Matt Cooke 
Yes, he’s monster, a horrible human being, etc. But behind the scenes, Cookie is a kid who loves to play pranks and joke around. When the team makes their visits to the children’s hospital, kids seem to take a liking to Cookie. You could totally see him running around the arena, playing a game of tag with a group of kids.
Most Likely to cook you a birthday dinner: Paul Martin
We can get James Neal to back us up on this. ON NHL36 with Neal, he was seen going for breakfast at Martin’s house, and Neal also tweeted about Martin being able to cook a great Thanksgiving dinner. So instead of going out for your birthday, Paul Martin would probably cook you whatever you wanted.
Most Likely to talk you through a problem: Chris Kunitz 
There’s just something very calming about Kunitz. Remember the scene in 24/7 when he asks Jordan Staal how he’s feeling? When Jordan replies OK, he looks at him and says “Mentally, how are you feeling?” Kunitz would know something was wrong, and try to help you with whatever problems you were having.
Most Likely to be found playing another sport during the off season: Sidney Crosby
Hockey is life for Sid, and if he has an extra long summer, he’s probably going to play something else for fun. He’s been spotted playing tennis, has said he loves to fish, and he played baseball until he was 12. In fact, 2 years ago, he hit a home run out of PNC Park. It seems like he just can’t sit still for a minute.
Black Tie Required 
TODAY IS OBVIOUSLY TUESDAY.
This entire post is A++.